Let go of your victim story

June 12, 2019

We all have them. Our victim stories. We all play it. The blame game. If you feel stuck in any kind of victim story, and are frequently playing the blame game, i.e. not owning your actions, insisting “this has nothing to do with me” or “why is this happening to me”, giving fault to others, please read this. That’s pretty much everyone, as this is our mind’s trap. 

 

In the most powerful yogic text Yogasutra, there is one sutra that can help us drop the victim story. It goes like this: every person perceives the same object in a different way: according to their state of mind and their projections. Everything is empty from its own side and appears according to how we see it. YS 4.15

 

This sutra says that we actually create our own reality. That is how powerful we are! Embracing the wisdom of this sutra involves taking responsibility for our life and the world we live in.

It is only then that we can begin to consciously co-create with the universe the world we want to live in, as opposed to perceiving the world as coming at us, as something we have no control over.

 

This concept of shunyata, or emptiness, is incredibly liberating and empowering. It is only then that we can stop playing the blame game, that we can liberate ourselves from feeling like victims. As long as you believe that someone else or a particular circumstance is responsible for anything in your life, you are disempowering yourself. If it’s someone else’s fault or responsibility, then YOU can’t change it. YOU are the victim. Wouldn’t your rather be free? 

 

Responsibility and freedom are two sides of the same coin—you can’t have one without the other. We are the ones who give the meaning to people, objects and situations. Everything that happens in our lives has to do with us. It is not random. This calls for radical honesty, admitting where we have gone wrong and fixing that. The rest is not ours to figure out. You can't fix others. Even if it is something that has to do with the circumstances of the past. My teacher used to say, it doesn’t matter if it’s from your mom or dad – it’s yours now – what will you do about it? 

 

Yet, could it be that our own power frightens us more than being powerless does? Is it easier to be a victim? Often it is an easy way out. To indulge this fear is to give our power away, to dishonor the gift of life. Shifting our perception from unconscious to conscious, from unenlightened to enlightened, is what will change the world, what will change our current highly self-destructive way of living on this planet. 

 

Through the Yoga practices our perceptions are refined: we learn to calm the fluctuations of the mind so that we can see objects, people and situations without the judgments, prejudices and conditioning that come from our past thoughts, words and actions. When we stop identifying with our thoughts and feelings, the fluctuations of the mind, or citta vrittis, we can experience clarity of mind. It is also called enlightenment: en – light: you can see clearly now. 

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